The Thing That Counts is What's Inside
"The Thing That Counts is What's Inside" is the 138th episode of Desperate Housewives. Summary Susan is horrified when she discovers that she has become the face of the provocative internet company she's been secretly working for, and is now the cover model for their outdoor billboard ads. Gabrielle tells her coveted secret to the ladies after meeting her biological daughter and the family who's taking care of her, and Renee and Bree go up against one another, each with hopes of nabbing Keith away and have him for herself. Meanwhile, Lynette takes advantage of daughter Penny's generous offer to help look after the baby, and Paul purchases the home he shared with Mary Alice, against the will of his new wife. Plot Previously on Desperate Housewives *Bree and Renee fight over Keith. ("Truly Content") *Susan becomes successful as an Internet 'model' and gets a cash infusion from her boss. ("Truly Content") *Paul's new wife, Beth, refuses to sleep with him. ("You Must Meet My Wife") *Gabrielle decides to locate her biological daughter. ("Truly Content") Susan Susan and Mike are burning a bill they've paid for, as a form of celebration for moving one step up in climbing out of their financial problems. Maxine shows up, and Susan has to warn her that Mike is home, to prevent her from barging in and going on about their dirty little business. After Mike heads for the shower, Susan tells her boss/landlady that she's all set up for the following day's show, which she promises will be good, and is surprised when Maxine says she should quit, because the company is taking in some new investors who are interested in a big American participation, thus resulting in the high chance that someone might recognize Susan. The latter tells her boss, who promises they've until one month before all the changes, that she is staying with that job all the way (before such changes occur), and is willing to do double shifts and extra hours in order to get some more income. Maxine agrees to this, and tells Susan she'll miss her. with the ripped billboard ad.]]Susan gets stuck in traffic one day and notices some guys putting up a huge billboard poster promoting the website for Va-Va-Va-Broom, with a sexy woman in red lingerie shown. She immediately calls Maxine to tell her off, because she was promised at least a few more weeks, and is horrified to see the remainder of the post, containing the woman's head, being lifted... and the woman is revealed to be none other than Susan Mayer Delfino. The latter gets out of the car and rushes to the site, where she tries to keep the men from putting up the poster. She grabs onto it as it is being lifted farther away from the ground, and it rips in half, leading Susan to the fall to the road with a big image of her breasts on top of her. She sighs. Later, at Maxine's office, Susan is mortified because everyone will soon be able to see her plastered in billboard ads all over town wearing next to nothing, only some lingerie Mike bought her. Maxine gives the investors a call, and then tells Susan they're gonna need 9 thousand dollars to call off the ad campaign, because they've already spent a lot of money on it. Susan is desperate, because even if she works harder, the 9 thousand dollars would just get her back to where she started from, and Mike would notice the money being gone. Maxine then warns her of a little extra feature she operates on her site, that she didn't tell Susan about because of the boundaries she had set. It's a little more hardcore than just dusting the house in lingerie, it features one-on-one interaction with some clients who will pay a lot more... but demand a lot more as well. Susan reluctantly agrees to do those sessions. Lynette Lynette comes home from the store with Penny and baby Paige, holding groceries. The baby has been crying all the while, and Lynette has grown tired. She stops crying, and the phone rings. Lynette is told that she left her license at the store, so she must return and get it, which will lead the baby to another crying rampage. Penny offers to take care of her baby sister, and even though Lynette isn't so sure, she agrees. She then comes home to find the child lying quietly on the floor, with Penny looking after her. She had changed the baby's diaper, which ceased her crying. Lynette is astonished because she didn't even know her young daughter knew how to change diapers or that she was so good with Paige. Lynette asks Penny that she let her take a shower to wash off the vomit from her hair (from the day before), and Penny insists that her mother take a nice bath instead, much to Lynette's satisfaction. Before the girls' poker game, Lynette tells Penny she'll be stopping by for a while, but she won't be staying, because since Paige spit up on Gaby's couch she's become unwelcome. Penny offers to take care of her sibling yet again, so that Lynette can stay for the poker game. Penny says she realizes how much her mother likes those get-togethers. One morning, Lynette tells Penny to watch her little sister while she goes out jogging, which she hasn't done in a while, and the former tells her she's got a big math test that morning so she can't be late. catches Renee spying on Bree.]]Outside, Bree is surprised to see her friend out running again, and Lynette is over the moon with the fact that she now realized the older children in her family can help look after the younger ones, which can only happen when one has spawned as many as she has. Bree calls her up to her house to discuss something Renee has done, and Lynette eventually forgets all about getting her daughter to school. She rushes home to find a note from Penny saying she's left, and no sign of her baby. Penny has taken little Paige to school with her. Lynette comes to school and is overwhelmed with guilt and embarassment when she learns the principal is waiting for her, and every woman she walks by (and also a young bully) is judging her. The principal tells Lynette that Penny has been helping her out more than she knows, even going so far as bringing the baby monitor to her room at night so that she can attend to the baby and her mother can get some better sleep. Lynette is surprised to hear this, and says she will have a talk with Penny. She still manages to tell the principal she shouldn't be so judgmental, because no one can say that they're a perfect mother, but the principal, who has eight children and a coffee mug reading "World's Best Mother", proves her otherwise. Back at home, after Penny's arrived, she apologizes to her mother, saying she'll never bring Paige to school again. She tries to head upstairs, but Lynette stops her. Penny tells her the only reason she was so motherly towards her sister is that her mother is much more pleasant and happy when she is well rested and not overwhelmed by having to take care of an infant. Lynette tells Penny that her job is to simply behave like a child, and that her mother's job consists of making sure that's exactly what Penny does. Tom overhears the conversation, and once Penny's gone, he tells his wife that was a very sweet thing to say. Lynette demands that he gets her a nanny, because she sees now that the pressure is getting to her, and she's taking it out on her children. Bree and Renee Bree comes outside to find Keith working on her window shutters, and asks him about their date. Keith says he's still working on it, and he's pretty "stoked" about it. Bree claims she's "stoked" as well, and proceeds to clean a bit of paint he's got on his cheek. From across the street, Renee is watching them, standing in Lynette's front porch, sipping coffee, and plotting. Lynette comes outside, after her shower, and asks her what she is up to, then realizes she's spying on Bree again. Renee asks her why Keith would choose Bree over her, who is older, to which Lynette replies they're the exact same change, and Bree has always looked younger. In fact, when she used to take walks with her grandson, people would assume right away he was her son. Renee is surprised to her Bree is a grandmother... and pleased too. Keith comes over to Bree's one night and brings with him tickets to a Black Eyed Peas concert. Bree is surprised that that was his plan all along. Keith asks her if she likes them, to which she responds she does, but he doesn't buy it. However, she insists she does, and that she's not as old as he might think. There's a knock on the door, and Bree opens it, and is shocked to see her daughter Danielle and grandson Benjamin, who have come over for surprise visit that'll last the whole weekend. Keith is surprised to see Bree is a grandmother. Benjamin keeps calling her "Grandma", and Danielle meets Keith, and learns they were about to go out. He tells them they should be together since they flew from far, but Danielle tells them they can still go out, and she and her son will be all right. Keith insists, nonetheless, claiming nothing trumps family. Bree and Danielle are appreciative of his nice gesture. After he's gone, Danielle tells her mother she must've heard wrong, it seems as though she's bouncing back nicely. It appears Danielle was sent there by a friend of Bree's who said she was feeling pretty down since Orson left. Bree asks her if said friend is called Renee, to which she replies it is. Renee paid for their trip, all in first class, and Danielle says she wishes she had friends like that, to which her mother says "Trust me, you really don't". gives Bree some advise on how to one-up Renee.]] After Lynette heads out to go jogging, Bree approaches her and tells her they need to talk. Lynette isn't too surprised by Renee's move, and actually refers to her behavior as "vintage Renee". Bree shares that now Keith is going out on a date with her. He asked her for permission, and she didn't know what else to say. She then asks Lynette for some tips to humiliate her, and the latter shares that Renee always freaked out whenever the film "The Wizard of Oz" played on television, because there was something about the munchkins that frightened her. Lynette says she has to go because she's got to take care of her baby before Penny goes to school, and apologizes to Bree for not being able to help. Bree then says she did help indeed. Renee has taken Keith out to a seafood restaurant, and he doesn't seem all too open-minded about trying new food courses. She becomes distraught by the apparent sight of a midget running around in the restaurant, and makes a fool of herself by yelling at a young boy. She then tries to tell Keith a story from when she was younger, when there was an incident at the circus that lead her to be terrified of midgets, but her story is cut short by the sight of one of them, named Malcolm, who shows up and asks her if he knows her. Renee is horrified and jumps onto the seats, screaming in agony, so much that the entire clientele in the restaurant can hear. She throws a jacked onto Malcolm, in an attempt to cover him up, and Keith removes it off of him and apologizes for her behavior. Malcolm says he's clearly made a mistake, and leaves. He then meets Bree, who is a secluded in another part of the restaurant, and tells her she should had seen the look on Renee's face. Bree tells him that even though she couldn't see it, she surely heard her. Bree thanks him for helping her, and he says it was no problem, and he'll be seeing her in church. doesn't want Renee to ask Keith who he'd rather be with.]]The following day, Renee meets with Bree at her house, having already found out the midget situation was brought on by her. Renee tells Bree they should just let Keith choose who he wants to date rather than coming up with under-handed schemes against each other. Bree is reluctant, over fear that he might choose Renee. When Keith walks in and Renee starts to question him, Bree steps in and interrupts her, changing the subject to wall paint. She then instructs Keith to go to the paint store, and he leaves. Renee then realizes how much Bree wants to be with Keith, so she unbottons the top buttons of her neighbor's shirt and tells her she can have him. Keith's her gift to her. Bree asks why, and Renee says she'd rather have her on her good side after what happened at the restaurant. Bree then leaves and tells Keith to wait up for her, because she'll be tagging along. Gabrielle Gabrielle and Carlos meet with the Sanchez couple, the parents of the girl that was swapped at birth with Juanita. They realize Grace Sanchez, their biological daughter, is a lean, pretty girl who looks a lot like Gaby did growing up. Grace is polite, whereas Juanita appears to be the exact opposite when talking to her mother, giving Carmen Sanchez, Grace's adoptive mother, the impression that Gabrielle didn't raise their daughter right, despite Gaby's flaunting of how great she turned out with the parenting deal. Grace notices Gabrielle's purse, and likes it a lot. During the meeting, the families also agree not to tell their daughters what happened, in order to protect their innocence, and they should agree to meet every once in a while, perhaps once a month, so they can each spend quality time with their respective biological daughters. tells the girls about her biological daughter.]] During poker game, Gaby tells the other women of what she recently fo und out about her daughter(s), and shows them a picture of Grace. The women are suprised, and comfort her friend. Gaby takes the opportunity to say that Grace took a liking to her purse, and therefore she's bought one for her: her very own starter Chanel. Renee is moved, and calls Gabrielle the best mother ever. Gabrielle takes the purse over to the Sanchez home, and Carla doesn't appreciate the thought. She tells Gabrielle she'd like to afford to give her daughter nice things, but she can't. Gaby offers to help money, but Carmen doesn't want her help, she wants her to leave, because she doesn't want Gaby to spoil Grace so she can grow up to become a disrespectful brat like Juanita. She slams the door on Gabrielle's face without letting her in to see Grace. When the Solises and the Sanchez family meet at the former family's house, Carmen teaches Juanita how to make massa, and Grace compliments Gabrielle on their house. Gaby offers to take her on a tour. Grace accepts, and by the time they get to the main bedroom, Grace is astonished. She hopes to someday live in a house like that and have nice stuff. She notices Gaby's jewellery, and Gabrielle offers to give her a necklace. Grace is happy, and she then notices Gabrielle's purse and shares that she wants to get a purse like that. Gabrielle encourages her, saying that she just might get one. At the end of the episode, we see Grace putting her necklace in a purse, as Gabrielle watches over her. Paul and Beth Beth Young is seen taking some medicine for her back pain. Paul tells her that she wouldn't need such medicine if only she would stop sleeping in the living room couch every night. Beth says the couch is just fine for her, and Lee McDermott comes in and warns Paul that he has officially just bought his old house back. Beth is surprised by this, as she had no idea Paul had any intentions of buying his old home. Lee notices the tension and leaves, and Beth asks Paul why he did it. She is curious as to whether they'll be moving back there, and Paul says she doesn't have to worry about it. She reminds him that she is his wife, and Paul tells her that it's curious how in the daytime she's his wife, but by nighttime she turns back into a house guest. Beth doesn't have a comeback. Later, Paul meets with Karen McCluskey, who is having a drink on her front porch. He asks her whether she'd be interested in selling him her house, and Karen insists she isn't. Paul explains that she's doing very well when it comes to her health right now, but eventually it will start to drift away, and when the time comes that she must be put in a nursing home or anything of the sort, she will want to make sure that her house is handed to someone who cares enough about it to be in charge. And no one loves that street more than Paul, so he'd like to carry the burden. He leaves her to think about it. That night, Beth notices a light in the old Young home, and heads there, wherein she spots Paul alone in the dark. She asks him what he's doing there, and why he would wanna purchase a place that is probably filled with so many bad memories. He claims he doesn't have bad memories from that place: mostly, he remembers sitting in the couch with his wife, drinking coffee... or in a chair, reading to his son... or decorating the Christmas tree in a corner with his family. He tells Beth he was happy there. He was in a real marriage. She asserts that their marriage is real, she just has to adapt to living with him first, and he doesn't make it any easier on her by keeping secrets. Paul says she is right, and, when he proceeds to leave, finishes off by saying "Secrets are why this house is empty right now". Karen comes home one time and Beth, who was watering her garden, greets her, asking her how she's doing. Karen says she's just gotten back from her physical and the doctor says she's doing great, so Beth's vulture husband should just back off. Beth doesn't understand. That night, Paul comes home while his wife is preparing dinner. She asks him how his day went, and he says it was normal. She then asks him if he spoke to anyone interesting, and he replies "who would wanna talk to me?" He goes upstairs, and Beth becomes annoyed because her husband is keeping secrets from her again, and she shows it by chopping up her vegetables at a faster pace. Production "The Thing That Counts is What's Inside" was written by Jason Ganzel and directed by David Grossman. It aired on October 17, 2010. Reception On its original broadcast on ABC, the episode scored 12.669 million of viewers and achieved a 3.9 rating in the adults 18-49 demographic. With the DVR Rating, this episode is up 1.8 in million of viewers (rising to a total of 14.5 million of viewers) and it's up 0.9 in the adults 18-49 demographic (rising to a total of a 4.8 rating) and received positive reviews from fans and critics alike. Trivia *Tuc Watkins (Bob Hunter), Charlie Carver (Porter Scavo), Joshua Logan Moore (Parker Scavo), and Mason Vale Cotton (M.J. Delfino) do not appear and are not credited. *On its original broadcast on ABC, the episode scored 12.669 million of viewers and achieved a 3.9 rating in the adults 18-49 demographic. With the DVR Rating, this episode is up 1.8 in million of viewers (rising to a total of 14.5 million of viewers) and it's up 0.9 in the adults 18-49 demographic (rising to a total of a 4.8 rating). *The title of this episode comes from a lyric in the song "Ah, But Underneath", from the Stephen Sondheim musical Follies. Bloopers and continuity errors *In this episode, Susan is terrified to discover a picture of her in lingerie appearing on a huge billboard as part of an advertising campaign for Va-va-va-Broom.com. However, in order to have a photo big enough to be put on such poster, there had to have been a professional photoshoot of Susan (which would produce a very hi-res image) - meaning she needed to be a willing participant. Otherwise it is simply impossible for that poster to have been made. On a side note, it's the rare pornographic website (albeit containing "softcore" material) that is allowed to advertise on billboards. Quotes References Category:Episodes Category:Season Seven